Sex, emotions and body image with Nina Isabel
A while ago I met Nina Isabel, a love, sex and emotion-coach, to talk about everything related to self-love, acceptance and body image. In the future we would love to work together and combine our services so we can help our clients even more. In the meantime I’ll share our talk with you.
Can you describe yourself in five words?
Dancer, lover, explorer, reader, wanderer.
You are using the VITA method of The Institute of Integrated Sexuality, how does this method work and why are you using it?
The VITA™ Method is a transformational process to heal and awaken. Backed by modern science and empowered by ancient wisdom, we use holistic tools like breathwork, pleasure practices, trauma healing, meditation, energy work, sounding, and movement that can resolve even the deepest issues.As a desire-based coaching system, we don’t spend all of our time focusing on what’s wrong. We use your vision of what you desire in your life instead. This propels you forward and motivates you to heal and live your deepest desires, whether they’re about sex, love, relationships or your own spiritual growth. I use this method because I have personally experienced that it works and I see this every day with my clients. As a trained psychologist I know the shortcomings of standard talk therapy. The VITA™ Method creates deep and lasting transformation in a short period of time.
How is sexuality connected to body image?
Shame, judgement and insecurities about your body will keep your mind occupied during sex. Sexual pleasure needs not thinking, not ruminating and not shaming yourself. So, if you want to experience full pleasure, you need to be able to let go of your feelings about your body. Imagine feeling like you are the most beautiful, sensual creature on the planet, and then imagine having sex.
How does this feel compared to feeling that you are not so cute and mostly awkward for example? Can you imagine the difference in your sexual experience? The other way around works as well. If you have a lover who adores your body, can’t get enough of it, actively lusts after you, your body image can change.
How are emotions connected to body image?
When you don’t like your body, you will have lots of hard emotions around this. On a deeper level, what I also see with clients, is that they often use their body as the symbol of their dislike of themselves. This means, that they can improve the relationship to their body, and shift their dislike to a different topic (their relationship with their mother for example).
The positive side of this, is that often the real solution is to change their relationship to themselves and in this, to all parts of themselves. In this way you don’t always need to heal your relationship to your body separately, and when you choose to focus on healing your relationship to your body, you are in a way healing the relationship to self.
Do you have clients with body image issues, if yes how can/do you help them?
I would say most of my clients have body image issues. There are different ways to go about this. One of them could be the following: Firstly, we define their desire about changing this, to get absolutely clear about how they would like to feel about their body.
Secondly, we uncover their current beliefs about their body, where they came from and which part of them really beliefs this. Then we find empowered part of themselves, connect with that part and have an empowered conversation with that part.
Finally, we give the responsibility for the relationship (and inner voice) about their body to the empowered part of themselves. As a homework practice I could give them conscious masturbation, loving breast massage, giving compliments to their body, or anything that fits that client in that moment. The goal is always to create a new relationship to your body. This takes some time and awareness but is very attainable.